Oklahoma Declares Watermelon State Vegetable

Brandon first pointed this news story out to me... this past week the Oklahoma state senate decided to declare the watermelon as the state vegetable. This is despite the fact that a watermelon is, of course, a fruit. However, Oklahoma already has an official fruit (the strawberry) so that designation wasn't an option.

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Oh happy day!

That nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach...
That notion that you have forgotten something big...
Something, monumental...

Well don't worry, it has not passed yet, but you better start making preparations, because March 4th, 2007 is a big day.

You still have time to get you cards and presents in the mail...
You still have time to decorate...
You still have time to commemorate...

For those of you who have not yet guessed it, Sunday is my 10,000th day. Yes, I will have been on this planet for, count 'em, 10,000 days since my birth on October 17, 1979. Now I know that tradition calls for sending a dollar for each day that the person has been alive, but this is completely unnecessary as a Starbucks' gift card, a star in my name or a charitable donation would all suffice as reasonable 10,000th Day gifts.

Random Quotes from Random Emails

I know, I know, I have been an absentee blogger lately, for that, dear reader, I apologize. I will offer a full explanation in a later blog post, but right now I am trying to clear out two very full inboxes. So, I thought I would include some random quotes I have written -- they are from some random emails as I engage in The Great Inbox Cleanup of 2007.

"Old and odd... true, but really, who doesn't like fists of spaghetti?"

"Damn painted clowns! They are like bowls of fruit without the banana."

(No, they aren't supposed to make sense, they are taken out of context, that is where the humor is derived from...)

"...so I decided NO WORK last night and took advantage of Mr. Tivo."

"...and if we can think of 6 more [songs] and we can make a 10 track Top Alternative Covers of Rap CD!"

"We have attached this year's ballot, fill it out before you come and bring it -- the person who gets the most correct will win bragging rights and a big kiss from Asia."

"Does Papa John put nuts in his Pizzas?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Sling Shot

I don't know why, but this video just cracked me up...

Pedometer

Many of you may not realize this, but I really like Rice Krispies, made by the good people at Kellogg. This evening, while I was pouring myself a bowl of Krispie goodness, out of the box fell a plastic-wrapped digital pedometer (we have come a long way from secret decoder rings). Along with the pedometer there was the instruction sheet that I have included for you below.

I think that instructions 1-6 are pretty good pointers on the use and opperation of . However, I do think "instruction" 7 is a little odd: "The battery is not replaceable or rechargeable." I must say that if you are going to make something digital, replaceable or rechargeable batteries does not seem like too much to ask for, but I suppose it was free...

"Instructions" 8 and 9 were the ones that really caught me off guard:

"8. Participants take part in exercise at their own risk"
"9. Kellogg's will not be held responsible for any illness or injury that is incurred while using the pedometer"

I know there are some that accuse the populous of the United States of being too litigious, but come on, this is just ridiculous... "Really? I exercise at my own risk?" I almost wonder if the lawyers wrote this line to give people ideas on what they could in fact sue Kellogg for.

As for "instruction" number 9, I understand that if I break my arm while using the pedometer Kellogg does not wish to be held responsible. However, what if the non-replaceable, non-rechargeable battery inside the pedometer blows up on me. I think, in this case, Kellogg should be held responsible for my injury -- no matter what a little piece of white paper says.

Thus, I call "instructions" 8 and 9 bunk. And, sadly, instruction number 4 is probably necessary for many people to figure out how to make their pedometer work.

Starbucks has wreaths up, so it must be that time...

To my loyal readers, let me begin by apologizing for falling off the radar recently... in the future, I promise to blog with increased regularity. Despite my lack of recent inspiration, I have seen a number of interesting gift ideas for Christmas (or other winter holidays).

NOTE: If you frequently check my shared links on the left hand column of this blog, some of these items will be repeats of what you have already seen, but this format provides you with my commentary.

Possible Christmas presents:

• If the outside of your fridge has a ferrous material and you are not very good at magnetic poetry this cool toy might be worth checking out, for kids and adults alike. Reminds me of the San Jose Tech Museum or something...
• If you (or a special female) are environmentally conscious and do not like to using plastic or paper bags this could come in handy. For those times when you forget your Trader Joes's canvas carrier, just whip off that bra (it is not that scandalous, every girl knows how to do it without taking off their shirt, they must teach it in like 5th grade or something) and turn it into a handy sack. It's your bag, baby!
  
• NASCAR, who doesn't love it??? Well, now you can "get your heart racing" with this excellent gift for the romantic race rouser, or perhaps the rousing romantic racer... I don't know.
  
  
• For the friend who has everything, get them nothing. Empty box gag gifts from the king of fake printed news, The Onion, include such classics as, a Salt of the Month Club membership, a make your own umbrella kit, and a USB toaster. The USB toaster may be fake, but the USB cup warmer is real.
  
• If your friend has purchased a iPod Video for her car, an iPod nano for the office, and a iPod shuffle for working out, and she still can't get enough of Sexy Back, check out Tooth Tunes, the MP3 playing toothbrush that plays music through your bones... look ma, no speakers!
  
• For the special geek in your life, check out these nerdy gifts...
  
  
  
• If death and dudes are your thing, check out the Men of Mortuaries 2007 Calendar.
  
• My father insists they are printing newspapers in a smaller font nowadays... if this kind of denial is found in your home as well, perhaps you should pick up a super-sized television remote.
  

If you have found some interesting gifts for the holiday season let me, and everyone else, know about them by posting links below in the comments section.